Member-only story
A WTF FAIRY TALE
Thrimbal Scrumpwiffle and the Toad Squash Gourds
A surprising harvest, indeed.
In a tree by a brook is where Thrimbal Scrumpwiffle the Forest Imp lived. He lived peacefully, unmolested by beasts or kingsmen. He lived happy days, catching tadpoles and water skimmers and, through very little effort, making friends of them all. Thrimbal, you see, was known by few, but beloved by almost all whom he encountered, for he was a simple soul who sought only friendship. But, if you were to cross Thrimbal, to disturb his generally mild but easily upset temper, he would become very angry. Very angry indeed. And this, I’m afraid, is where our story of Thrimbal begins.
“What the f**k did you just say to me?!” Thrimbal shouted. “Listen, you little punk b*tch, I’ve just about had it with your bullsh*t!”
Simpwhim took a nervous step back. “I-I’m sorry, Thrimbal. Please, f-forgive me. I am but a tiny Moss Gnome of the Gilded Swamps of — ”
“Shut your f**king face!” Thrimbal snapped, slicing through the air with his razor sharp dagger just inches from Simpwhim’s nose. “Now, I’ll ask you one last time. Was it you who trod upon my Brownie Flowers and Summermint Blossoms?!”
Simpwhim could feign innocence no more. Hanging his head, he whimpered, “Yes, Thrimbal…
