Financial advisors hate this one weird 3-step trick! — One surefire way to really give your retirement savings a kick in the pants is to win a lot of money in Las Vegas. This is how I recently exploded my retirement savings account from, roughly, $0 to somewhere around $43 (I’ll need to check with my accountant to be…

One-off stupid thoughts on various topics. — DR. JACKSON: My name is Dr. James “Jimmy” Jackson, Jr., and I am a professor of black physics. INTERVIEWER: I’m sorry, do you mean you’re a Black professor of physics? DR. JACKSON: No. I mean, I specialize in black physics. You know, black holes, dark matter, and the like. INTERVIEWER…

Tips that may help you enjoy, and possibly survive, your LASIK procedure — If you’ve been thinking about getting LASIK eye surgery to correct your vision but are nervous about the procedure, don’t worry. There is really nothing to fear. LASIK is an extremely efficient and simple procedure that merely involves strapping your head down to a table in a darkened room and…

Your weekly dose of science every month. — Here at Weekly Science Monthly we take science very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that we often get into arguments over which one of us takes science the most seriously. Clearly it’s me, since I’m here writing about our esteemed publication while Dr. …

How yawn-generated CO2 emissions will destroy 5 zillion plankton by Wednesday — NOTE: In an effort to avoid contributing further to the damaging effects boredom-induced yawn-generated CO2 emissions are having on Earth’s climate, we here at Serious Science Journal Monthly have attempted to make this article as entertaining as possible. Hey party people! You know what time it is?! It’s super fun…

Get your motor idling! — For some unknown reason, despite thoroughly cleaning out my ears daily, every morning my right ear appears to have been used as Madame Tussaud’s scrap bucket overnight. …

One-off stupid thoughts on various topics. — “It’s taken millions of years of evolution for June bugs to develop the ability to evade predators by flying directly into walls until they beat themselves senseless and die.” - Darwin or possibly Einstein Pro used car shopping tip: The larger the used car salesman’s pinky ring, the better the…

Or, saving valuable body parts by avoiding corn and spiders. — The summer before my freshman year in high school, circa late 1980-something, I almost cut my hand off with a meat cleaver. I’m sure I did many other things that summer, many things that didn’t involve losing important chunks of my anatomy, but this is the event that sticks out…

One-off stupid thoughts on various topics. — I’ve always wanted to be a juggler, but I just have too much other stuff going on. Considering how immature I am, I think I’m qualified to make a plea on behalf of all children this holiday season: Please don’t give us (I mean, children) presents in gift bags. We…